How I Confound You and Astound You

So, I lied.  Well, accidentally.  I reported that Owen has about 30 signs and words.  I was way, way, WAY wrong.  The MIND Institute has yelled at me numerous times because as they watch us interact Owen will suddenly bust out with so many signs that he looks like a baseball player, while I stare confusedly at him.  "You NEED to know what he is saying!" the MIND researchers reprimand.  I KNOW, I KNOW.  His school teachers sign a ton with him, and his inclusion teacher is a signing maniac.  So at our last school clinic meeting, I asked them to keep a list of all his verbal words and signs. They sent this home a week ago....

Yeah, I'm the worst mom evahhhh.  I was aware of about 20 of these signs, and 6-7 words.  I also added "airplane and motorcycle" to the signs and "YEAH!" to the words.  He knows WAY MORE than I thought he knew!  Holy crapola!

I've been reading several posts in the Facebook Fragile X rooms lately from parents of newly diagnosed  children, grieving and devastated.  I feel for them - I WAS them not so long ago.  And I have realized how living with the diagnosis is SO different than receiving it.  You see your beautiful young baby and fear what they will 'turn into,' fear that they will become a 'monster,' fear what they will 'never be.'  I know I did.
But when you LIVE with the diagnosis, day after month after year, and watch them grow - they never fail to surprise you. Astound you.  Charm the surliest of people.  Do things you had no idea they were capable of.  And absolutely, totally, crack you the hell up.

Bridget and I were talking about Fragile X this week, and people who have "drops" of it (me) and "more" of it (Owen).  Bridget asked "Does Dad have it?" and I replied "B, it's kind of rare.  I don't know anyone in our town or area who has it!"  And she replied "WOW, we are LUCKY!"  I repeated questioningly "Lucky?"  And she said "Yes, Owen has A LOT! We are LUCKY!"
We have Fragile X in my house.  And we are lucky.

"Doctors have come from distant cities
Just to see me
Stand over my bed
Disbelieving what they're seeing

They say I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer
No explanation

Newspapers ask intimate questions
Want confessions
They reach into my head
To steal the glory of my story

They say I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer
No explanation

O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way

People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads
How I confound you and astound you
To know I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as you can see you can offer me
No explanation

O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way"

Natalie Merchant, "Wonder"