Monday, December 19, 2011

If you find time to do everything, how do you do everything right?

Merry fucking Holidays people!!! Woot! (I only say 'Woot' sarcastically, so please read with proper tone).  
Show of hands - who is tired? Exhausted? Broke? Stressed? Haven't finished holiday shopping, wrapped gifts, mailed cards? Who here has young kids? Kids at all? Oh wait, have they been SICK lately? Hve you been sick lately?  Work is busy, and when the emergency answering service calls me I have to ask "Which answering service is this?" Because I have two.  And teacher gifts? At this moment Owen has 2 bus drivers, 3 teachers, 3 aides, and the occupational, speech and physical treatment staff at his school are number at least 11 people.  Not even attempting that - except for the bus drivers. 
Holiday parties, grab gifts, choir concerts, special ceremonies, crafts, cooking, baking, decorating, caroling.  "Mom, can we put more lights outside? Don't forget my grab gift for Girl Scouts! Can I have a horse for Christmas? Can we listen to Christmas music constantly until your brain bleeds?"

I still have a million things to do, and working crazy long hours to attend this week's school concert and 'Daisy Scouts petal ceremony.'  (Seriously, anyone with more than two kids is a superhero to me.  I have no idea how you get all the school lunches/homework/library books done, never mind the holiday insanity on top of that.  And when they get sick? Shiver.)   The house is a shambles and there is so much glitter it looks like someone shot Tinkerbell. I was UNHAPPY yesterday when I realized B knew what the "Elf on the Shelf" was - NOOOOO! Keep that creepy miniaturized-Abdow's Big-Boy combined with Poltergeist clown OUT of my house and OFF my to-do list!!
Working long days until the kids are out of school, and then I somehow need to finish Xmas with them here and it's still against the law to lock in children in closets.  Anyone want a few kids from Friday morning until Saturday, 3pm-ish? Anyone???  Bueller??
I'm insane.  I can't find a big beanbag and no, I will NOT pay $30 for shipping Walmart!  Overstock hasn't shopped Bridget's "BIG GIFT"  yet, and I hope it gets here by Xmas because frigging Santa started this tradition when she was young, so now she eagerly anticipates her one big gift - "Mom, I wonder what it will be this year? I hope it's a horse! Or a camera."

Not only insane from lack of sleep, thanks to Owen's flu shot and resulting two sleepless nights, but I'm insane already from even anticipating trying to get everything done.  And done well.  Beautiful cards, perfect gifts, home made crafts......WHY WHY WHY WHY????? Sure, it is joyful and special and the best part of ANY Christmas is little kids and buying them presents - SO fun....I could buy toys all day long.  I have two offices and I work with kids, I repeat on a near daily basis "Please don't break my toys!" and "No, that's my toy.  You can't bring it home."  I love buying toys and games for myself and when I grow up, I want to be a kid.
 BUT I'M OLD AND TIRED.  And now I have to provide the perfect Norman Rockwell Christmas or B will add that to her list of complaints to her future therapist.  Plus, I live in Holden, where this is residential requirement or they stone you.

I have a confession.  I'm an gift slacker.  I always forget to buy gifts, or procrastinate buying them, and I'm terrible at choosing them.  I was at the mall the week of a best friend's and husband's FORTIETH bdays and somehow managed to forget to buy them both presents. BOTH! Which is why I went.  Sigh.  Freud would say I'm subconsciously avoiding it for some reason to do with a penis, but I say things get back-burnered, and that is one.  Gifts and cards.  I suck at both.  So...

Dear Best Friends and Adult Family Members - I love you so all so much and would not be alive without you.  I will always be there for you,  just call out my name and I'll come running, like James Taylor says.  By email, text, call and especially gracing you with my physical presence, I'm a loyal dog.  Just don't expect me to have a card or gift when I get there. 

"UPTOWN ('NOT Downtown, no one says downtown!') Holden, Santa's Arrival and Girl Scout Choir." (Another mom and I fought our way to the front of the crowd to watch our Daisies carol.  I've been in  safer mosh pits.  O and Dad arrived after Santa to avoid the noise and sirens and this pix was taken as we were leaving, 3 minutes after their arrival.) 


  1. I really love the pictures Kathy. You are great!


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