Friday, January 27, 2012

So I turned myself to face me.
























This is a copy of what comes home with Owen every day since he has transitioned into the 'Orange Room' (or ABA room).  My favorite part (and there is MUCH to like on it) is "He was invited to play basketball with friends and participated (happy face!)"   Yay!! Not to mention love the aide's enthusiasm.
O was originally in an inclusion class in the morning, and a different substantially separate class in the afternoon, and I was concerned what would happen to his friendships and routine by switching classrooms (the afternoon one, specifically) half way through the school year.  His *awesome* school has adapted his schedule so he still has circle time with his friends in the afternoon, does all his school work in the Orange room, and is still in his inclusion class part of the morning.  Whew! No wonder why he is asleep by 6pm!  This transition has also meant he now has one aide all day (as opposed to one in am/different one in pm) and she has received extra training in behavior management as well knowing him well from being with him all day, every day  (SHE will DEFINITELY get a gift!)
The Orange room also means a schedule of full day/5 days, as opposed to now - he has been full day/4 days.  Maybe it seems like only a small difference, but it feels like I'm sending my baby away early, when this is the time we are supposed to still have together!  Mommies and babies! He's only 3!  And I've been clinging to the fact that hey, at least we still had our Mondays together.  But I know that in school he learns, receives treatment, has many friends, and grows.  I KNOW it is really the right place for him for him to be - development during the younger years is crucial, the more stimulation and learning the better for the child.
But as of Monday both my children will be in school full time - a year and a half too soon!  How did that milestone happen?  That is MY milestone!! It just kind of slid in there, unnoticed, like a letter from the IRS disguised as innocuous junk mail.  I should have known better, it IS still January, bastard. Taunting me like Nelson, I'm still here, HA ha.

I'm just sad that they get him early because I'm not ready.  But look! Look how awesome he does there.  It's what's best. Damn, this crap really DOES hurt me more than it hurts him. (I know.  Give me a month and I'll be rejoicing full-time school. Or at least give me until 10 am Monday.)
 

"Still don't know what I was waitin' for
And my time was runnin' wild
A million dead end streets and
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse of
How the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Where's your shame?
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time

Strange fascination, fascinatin'
Ah, changes are takin'
The pace I'm goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n' rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you're gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time"
D Bowie

and one more quick one, this one has been stuck in my head for WEEKS...
"But time makes bolder, children get older, I'm getting older too....yes I'm getting older, too..."

13 comments:

  1. Just wonderful... :)

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  2. OMG! I LOVE that song by Steve Nicks!!! It is absolutely one of my favorites!

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  3. Stevie, not Steve... really, I know my Fleetwood Mac!

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  4. I thought about this blog yesterday when I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil. A woman was referring to a sick child as a "retard" and forbidding her kids to play with this sick child stating that her kids wouldbecome "retards" if they played with the "retarded" kids. The CHild had Hungtington Disease, which is a horrible degenerative disease ending in death. Both the mom and the child died of it. BUT the best part was the best part of the show was that Dr. Phil refused to use the word "retarded" and then pointed out to the woman he would NOT say it because it is a vulger and cruel word when used in the way she used it. This woman was disgusting. She told the 9 year old who was dying "why don't you just DIE alreadY?" And we think it's the children that are so cruel. I am quickly becoming very disillusioned with the ADULTS in this world.

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    1. I've also been told about this episode, and I was THRILLED at Dr. Phil's response to the 'r-word.' Her use of the r-word was the least horrifying thing she said, sadly. And you're right, it's the adult who teach their kids.

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  5. I think everyone has a hurtful word to them, that unless it affect them personally it is mot hurtful. For example, I am mot friends with you on Facebook, but a mutual friend is. Sge sent me the comment your friend said anout Mit Tomney being elected even though he was Mormon, and you said you thought his comment was funny. My family is Mormon and it huts me when people understand our religion. It disappoints me that you are so emphatic about not making fun of people for mental disabilities, but you have mo problem using one's religion to cut them down. Maybe you will disagree, but it is all judgement and hurtful

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  6. I meant it hurts me when people MIS understand our religion. I find it ironic you hve a blog about not judging, but on your Facebook page you judge other people for their religion. Maybe you should enlighten yourself while you try to enligjten others

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    1. I'm not sure how to respond to this - Anti-Mormon? Facebook stalking? Am I allowed to have a political opinion? Anyhow, I'm sure within all the bad grammar you have a good point. I would hope after 15 years of working with people of all shapes sizes colors and backgrounds, I'm pretty accepting of everyone. But that's ok, you judge me!

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    2. I reacted too harshly, and owe you an apology. I reacted too sensitively (bad grammar and all LOL). I did not mean to imply that you were judgemental, I simply meant that words of ALL kinds can hurt, even when one might think they don't. But I apologize for my demeaner. I typed before I thought.

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    3. Cool! I accept! Thank you! And yes, you did serve as a good reminder for me also to think before I type.
      Look, there can be kindness on the internet! Thank you for reading!

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  7. I can offer some "off color" humor here. My nephew is both developmentally delayed AND Mormon. Any judgement is derived from ignorance. I purposely dont tell peole that my paternal side of the family is Mormon, because I have heard many peole I greatly respect cut down Mormonism, and I have learned to get a thick skin. I love my family. They have different beliefs than I, but we all respect each other and love each other and that is all that matters ANYWHERE. Love is the answer

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    1. I don't lead with "this is my son with Fragile X." There has been plenty of people who meet him before they know his diagnosis.
      I like to lead with - this is us, take it or leave it! Love is most certainly the answer! We show it, teach it to our kids, practice it in everyday life. It's like the Beatles said about the love you take is equal to the love you make, baby.

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